Radishes radishes

 

So this one time, in college, I was trying to only eat veggies to lose weight. I read somewhere (probably wikipedia) that radishes help to get rid of excess water in your body and burn fat. I’ve never heard this before or since, so I’m going to go ahead and ASSUME it’s made up. That doesn’t mean there isn’t a part of me that desperately wants it to be true, though.

So, while at my local friendly neighborhood Kroger this week, I found a bag of these cheap red radishes and thought, “F*** you, bikini season,” and bought them.

I chopped up a few of them raw and tried desperately to eat and enjoy them with hummus. I finished the hummus with my fingers without finishing the radishes. Fail.

So then I thought, maybe if I saute them in some butter it’ll make them both healthier AND more delicious. Well, one of those things was true.

Ingredients:

• 1 cup quartered and/or sliced radishes
• 1 tbsp butter
• salt + pepper
• 1 tsp garlic powder

 

In a medium skillet over high-medium heat, melt down the butter and then wait for the foam to subside a bit. Toss in your radishes and coat them with the melted butter. Cook for about 5-10 minutes, until the radishes begin to soften and become slightly translucent. Season with a salt and pepper to taste and the garlic powder. Cook an additional minute or two, transfer to a plate, then pretend you’re going to get thin. Maybe you will. I don’t know.

‘Tropical’ quinoa salad

I did it. I made a dinner without meat. Or bacon, the most bestest of (and king of) meats.

I should mention that I only made this because I am go godda**ed bored with food lately. This entire meal seemed interesting and healthy, so, I went with it. Duh.

I actually made this quinoa salad alongside an herbed-goat cheese stuffed portobello mushroom (to be seen in a future post). NO TWO FOR ONE RECIPES.

The bestest veg-a-ma-tarian dinner/meal/snack ever

Quinoa salad:

• 1 cup red quinoa
• handful fresh chopped cilantro
• 1/2 cup medium red onion, diced
• 1/2 cucumber, diced
• 1 tomato, diced
• 1 jalapeno, diced
• 1 avocado, diced
• 1 fresh mango, diced

For dressing: 

• 2 tsps ground cumin seed
• 2 tbsps olive oil
• 2 tbsps lime juice

Cook quinoa according to package directions. Cool in a refrigerator until it’s about room temperature and no longer molten-lava-boiling-hot. Once cool, mix in the diced veggies and mango, being careful not to totally smoosh and moosh the avocado. Combine all the ingredients for the dressing, pour over salad. Set aside. Let this sit for about 20 minutes so all the flavors can combine and “marry” together. Add salt and/or more lime juice afterwards to taste.

Make a giant batch of this for parties. Be popular. Let the people love you. You’ll, like, feel super important. Oh, and if this were to be served along with some tortilla chips, or like, topped with some super-duper hot sauce… it would not be the worst thing in the world …

Stop hating on Brussels sprouts

Ok. Honestly. The hate has to stop.

I have found that a lot of people have been throwing Brussel sprouts under the bus.

Why? They’re so adorable. With their little cabbage-esque wrappers and deliciousness. I think the reason everyone hates on this defenseless vegetable is because Mommy used to steam it or cook it to death until it was gray and lifeless.

So here. A quick, easy, and essentially foolproof way to prepare this delicious and nutritious veggie.

Ingredients:

• Olive oil
• Lemon juice
• s & p
• Brussels sprouts

Preheat oven to 450 F. In a large bowl, toss together halved Brussels sprouts (as many or as few as you like), salt, pepper, lemon juice and olive oil — enough to coat each sprout when tossed.

Dump the whole bowl onto a baking sheet and throw in the oven (don’t literally throw; that’d be messy). After about 15 minutes, they should be just starting to get brown on the outside. When they look like the picture above, take them out. Either eat alone as a snack (yes I have), as a side with salmon or chicken, or you can add to risotto or pasta. Duh. No more hate, please.

Eggplant gratin thing.

OBVIOUSLY I had bought too much eggplant for my lasagna thing, and was FORCED to come up with something interesting to do with it. This recipe is a spin-off of one by Ina Garten which my darling mother has been pushing me to to make since she discovered it. Life is hard. The original recipe, a gratin type thing, can be found here. I didn’t have any half and half or milk (I’m po’), so what I had was pretty much just a custardy mixture thing. Go with it, it tastes fabulous. Plus, the dish is meat free, so I felt healthy. Never mind it’s full of cheese. It has veggies. It negates calories.

Ingredients

• 1 eggplant
• 1 cup frozen spinach
• extra virgin olive oil
• salt and pepper
• 1 cup ricotta
• 1/2 cup shredded Parmesan
• 1 egg
• 1/2 – 1 cup tomato sauce

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees F.

First, cut your eggplant into 1/4 to 1/2 in. discs. Heat about 1/8-inch olive oil in a very large frying panover medium heat. When it’s super hot, add your eggplant slices and cook on each side until they’re golden brown. IT WILL SPLATTER so be careful kids. Once those are cooked, transfer them to some paper towels to drain.  Meanwhile, defrost your frozen spinach in the microwave and squeeze out as much excess water as you can.

When the eggplant are cool enough that your fingers don’t melt off, line a pie plate with them. It is okay if they overlap a bit. Next, take your spinach and sort of sprinkle it over the top, filling in the holes. Next, spoon the marinara over the eggplant and spinach. Then, over top, sprinkle half of the Parmesan cheese.

In a bowl, mix together ricotta, salt and pepper (about an 1/8 tsp of each), the egg and the remaining  the Parmesan. Pour this entire mixture over the eggplant pie thing.

Now, pop that cheesy goodness into the oven for about a half hour, or until a golden brown bubbly crust has formed and it looks like that delicious picture at the top of the page.

EAT IT RIGHT NOW.

Ridiculously awesome enchiladas

I have made enchiladas so many f***ing times I have lost count. I have made them with meat, without meat, with beans, with rice, with just cheese, with a combo of jalapenos, habanero cheese and Dave’s Insanity Sauce (because I like danger and tearing up when I eat) and just about any other combo you can think of. The beauty of these enchiladas is that the recipe can be entirely adapted based on your needs, wants and desires. Yes.

For this particular endeavor, I ended up making far more enchiladas than I had intended. Because I was feeding myself and two man-friends who wanted to have a “fancy party” (they wore ties and drank Scotch), I ended up making two trays (see photo) of enchiladas. We finished one tray. BUT tis far, far better for one to have too many cheesy, oozing, Mexican-happiness-filled tortillas than not enough. Duh.

These take a few steps, but are absolutely, entirely worth it. I have made the recipe for one tray of enchiladas, you fatties.

Ingredients:

• 1/2 green pepper, diced
• 1/2 red pepper, diced
• 1/2 small onion, diced
• 1 jalapeno, diced
• 2 cups shredded cheddar cheese
• 1 cups shredded Mexican cheese blend for topping (can be less if desired)
• 1 can black beans, drained
• shredded cooked chicken (if desired)
• 1 small can tomato sauce
• 1 small jar taco sauce ( I used Kroger brand, probably about 1 1/2 cups)
• 1 tbsp cumin
• 3 tbsps chili powder (any variation)
• s+p to taste
• corn tortillas (if you can’t find them, flour are fine, but the corn really do hold up nicely)

In a large skillet with some olive oil, sautee  the green pepper, red pepper and onion over medium-high heat. Add a few pinches of salt and about a tbsp of the chili powder. Cook until the veggies begin to soften, about 10 minutes. Turn off the heat and set aside.

In a large bowl, mix together the 2 cups of cheese, diced jalapeno and drained black beans. Mix in the sauteed vegetables from the skillet. This should melt the cheese a little. If you are using the chicken, add it now. Set this mixture aside.

In a 13×9 dish, spread the taco sauce. If you want less-saucy enchiladas, do not use the whole jar.

In another small bowl, combine the remaining chili powder, cumin, salt and pepper with the tomato sauce.

NOW it’s time to assemble (yay!). This will get very, very dirty. In a good way. You knew what I meant. Focus. Ok, so take a tortilla and dip it into the bowl with the tomato sauce mixture. Coat the ENTIRE tortilla — front, back etc. Lay it down in the 13×9 dish, and spoon it some of the bean/cheese/deliciousness mixture down the middle. Roll up the tortilla so that the “seam” side is down, and the enchilada stays in place. Repeat this for as many tortillas fill the dish / filling is left. Do not worry if there is too much filling … it goes great in eggs the next morning. MMMMMM. Add the remaining cup of cheese down over the top and any leftover sauce if desired.

Pop those bad boys in a preheated oven at 425 for about 30 minutes. Check them occasionally. When the edges start to turn golden brown and the cheese is all melty and bubbly and omg, they’re probably ready. Essentially, you’re just heating all the ingredients together, so this isn’t a cooking process, really.

Eat and enjoy your ungodly Mexican creation. These are not dietetic, but who cares.

Zucchini and eggplant “lasagna”

In an attempt to be a good Catholic (nevermind that I have a hard time recalling the last time I set foot in a church), I was looking for a meatless dish to enjoy on a Friday during Lent. I wanted a lasagna-y, saucy, cheesy something, but absolutely did NOT feel like going through the steps of making a lasagna. Yeahno. So I nixed the noodles and came up with this.

Ingredients

• 3 small-medium zucchinis, sliced into 1/4 in discs
• 1 medium-large eggplant, sliced into 1/4-1/2 in discs
• 1 (26-oz) jar tomato sauce, whichever kind you like
• 1/2 container ricotta — about 7.5 oz.
• 2-3 cups shredded mozzarella (I used less, but feel free to splurge)
• 3/4 cup Italian seasoned breadcrumbs

Preheat oven to 375. Butter a 13×9 baking dish. On a baking sheet, arrange zucchini and eggplant discs and season with olive oil, salt and pepper. Bake for about 10-15 minutes until the veggies get soft.

Spoon about 3/4 of the tomato sauce into the bottom of the buttered baking dish. Arrange the eggplant slices on top (it’s okay to overlap in order to get them all in). Sprinkle on enough mozzarella to coat the top of the eggplant.

Dallop about half of the ricotta over the mozzarella. Now arrange the zucchini discs over the ricotta. Cover with remaining sauce and dallop a bit more ricotta. Cover with remaining mozzarella. Scatter bread crumbs over the top and drizzle the entire dish with olive oil.

Get that delicious Italian meal into your oven and wait for the top to get all golden and bubbly and such. It should form a bit of a crust after 30-35 minutes. Take out, pop on some fresh basil leaves for garnish and act like a snob. You done good.

Stir-fry by some guest cook guy

I was looking for a good stir-fry recipe and my good friend Parker was darling enough to send this. ISN’T THAT NICE.

Listen yous, I can vouch, and, in his own eloquent words: “This is some good sh**.”

Here is Parker’s stir-fry in his own words/ingredients … whatever:

Ingredients:

• 1 tbsp. grated/minced fresh ginger
• 1/4 cup chicken broth (or veggie broth if this is a vegetarian dish)
• 1/4 cup Teriyaki sauce (I used House of Tsang)
• 1/4 cup soy sauce
• 2 tbsp. agave nectar (or honey)
• 2 tsp. black pepper – optional
• 2 cup broccoli
• 1.5 cup thin julienne sliced carrots
• 1 cup sliced daikon or 1 cup sliced water chestnuts (canned)
• 1/2 cup red pepper chunks or slices
• 1 cup sliced shiitake or whole straw mushrooms
• boiled udon noodles or cooked rice

Note: I don’t recommend both water chestnuts and the daikon as they have similar textures. I prefer the chestnuts but the daikon has a unique flavor that compliments the dish well.

Put all liquids, pepper, and ginger in a large frying pan. Add broccoli, carrots (and sliced daikon if using). When carrots look almost done, add the water chestnuts, mushrooms, etc.  Simmer for 5-10 more min so flavors blend. Serve over udon noodles or rice.

Lemony – Kaley – Greekish – pasta thing

Now that you’re done laughing at the name, prepare to be amazed FOR A TASTE EXPLOSION. Or don’t. Anywho. This pasta idea was spawned by a desire to a) eat pasta, b) finish the kale in my fridge, and c) do a freaking blog post.

Now I know what you’re thinking … “Sarahhh I don’t have timeee to make an elaborate and delicious and nutritious meal.” Stop whining. It’s not that hard.

Ok here we go. There’s a few steps to this dish, so follow along kids.

Ingredients: 

For the lemony sauce thing:

• 3 cloves garlic
• 1/4 tbsp kosher salt
• 1/4 cup olive oil
• 1/4 cup lemon juice (can be fresh or bottled)
• 1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese
• 1 tbsp oregano

For the turkey:

• 1/2 lb ground turkey
• salt and pepper (to taste)
• lemon pepper seasoning (to taste)

For the pasta:

• 4-6 cups of whole-wheat penne pasta (depends how hungry you are)
• 5 cups of chopped kale (you can leave the stems on or cut them off… doesn’t matter)
• **Feta cheese for garnish if desired

First, mince the garlic finely, then sprinkle on the kosher salt. Grind the salt into the garlic with your knife until it makes a sort-of paste. Once that’s finished, put it in a bowl. In said bowl, mix in the lemon juice,  olive oil, fresh cracked black pepper,  Parmesan cheese (the shaker powdery kind is perfect) and the oregano (you can use fresh if you’re an herb snob). Mix all the ingredients together with a fork and set aside.

On the stove, boil some water and make the penne. When the pasta is about 1-2 minutes from al dente, add your kale. This will soften it up a bit and make it a little less bitter. When the pasta is done, drain the whole thing and set aside.

While you’re waiting for your pasta to finish, you can brown up some ground turkey. I used about a half pound that I had leftover from some other cooking endeavor … Anyway, as the turkey browns, add a bit of salt, pepper, and if you have it, lemon pepper (lemon pepper is one of my favorite seasonings … it goes on everything… if you don’t have it buy it). If you don’t have lemon pepper, add a little (and I mean a capful at most) lemon juice to the turkey. You want to flavor each layer of this dish. When the turkey is done, you don’t really need to drain the fat off since a) turkey has little fat to begin with and b) it’ll add to the flavor of the pasta

Ok so now you should have all 3 components of this dish ready.  The last step is mixing. Yes,  rocket scientists. As you mix together the pasta/kale, lemony-garlicky sauce and turkey, you can judge how the pasta tastes/looks overall. If you feel like you want more “sauce”, add a little more lemon juice and olive oil. Taste as you go. I added about a ½ cup of feta cheese to my pasta while it was still warm … mmmmmmmm. And that’s pretty much that. Congrats. You made lemony-kaley-garlicky whatever-the f*** I called this thing in the beginning.

Remember you can omit the meat if you don’t like it or are dating some sort of pescatarian. Fish feel pain too, David. Jesus Christ.

Just the tip.

… those famous three words. That’s how a full, delicious Funfetti cake covered in chocolate frosting and chocolate chips and sprinkles turned into the travesty depicted below. 3 girls 1 cake. Don’t hate me.

We kept trying to even it out … until there was nothing left. Alyssa and Tara: let’s totally lose 3 lbs.

I’M NOT DEAD.

Ok. So it’s been awhile. Deal with it. Soon after my last post, I dealt with the onslaught of the holidays, visiting families, returning fug gifts, life changes  including but not limited to break ups, dating, drinking alone, microwave cooking for one, pescatarianism, and alcoholism in general. I’ve been busy.

But, despite my spiral into and out of insanity, I have remained on my feet and … still cooking. Le sigh. I have promised friends, people who still put up with me that I would post several things that they’ve been requesting since November.

I’ll start out with a snackatizer that I came upon awhile ago, but it took me some time to get the ratios right. It’s an edamame hummus. Yes it’s bright green. Just in time for spring? Sure, whatever. I’ll also be trying out a beet hummus this week and will hopefully remember to post it.

This edamame hummus comes as an answer to a request for a healthy snacking option loaded with protein. Fun fact: Edamame packs about the same amount of protein as roasted turkey. So there.

Edamame Hummus:

12-16 oz bag frozen edamame beans (already out of the pods… unless you want extra work)

1 clove garlic, crushed

1/2 cup veggie stock (feel free to use water or chicken stock … whatever makes you happy)

1 tbsp lemon juice (can use more or less … I used more lemon and less stock)

Salt and pepper to taste

2 tbsps sesame oil (gives it a nice nutty flavor, but if you don’t have it, olive oil is fine)

Combine everything in a food processor until it reaches desired consistency. You can also swap out the oil for a little bit of Tahini paste if you have it, and you’ll get essentially the same flavor but a thicker “hummus.”  This recipe is extremely flexible, so feel free to add more lemon, nix the garlic, or use less liquid. It’s really up to you. Like I said, it’s a really healthy and somewhat filling snack; perfect with flat-breads, tortilla chips or even as a spread on a sandwich. Enjoy!